The Origins of Pem: Part 1
03/04/06 05:05 PM
By Paul Lowman
Pem was created in 1989 by teenage school friends Marc Skeldon and James Fearn, then studying at Ellers Middle School in Doncaster. The legend goes that one Saturday afternoon Marc and James were playing Sonic The Hedgehog on the Sega Mega Drive, and amusing themselves by singing along to the main theme tune using made up words. Saturday afternoons in the late 80?s were boring. One of the words they used was Pem. Something about this strange word stuck in their heads, and they were still using it the following Monday when they arrived at school. Neither Marc or James could possibly have predicted what happened when they introduced Pem to the playground vocabulary. Pem caught on instantly, and within days had developed into school-wide phenomenon. Geeks, jocks, losers, sweaties: everybody wanted a piece of Pem.
There was certainly no guarantee that Pem would catch on. ?Cool? slang words come in and out of usage on an almost weekly cycle at school, and ?Pem? was far from an ?easy sell? as far as slang words go. It sounds weird, and doesn?t mean anything. Something can?t be described as ?being? Pem. Pem isn?t good. Pem isn?t bad. It?s just Pem. And this was perhaps it?s true genius; by meaning nothing, it meant EVERYTHING.
It?s sorta Zen. But with a P and an M. You can use it however the hell you want; there are no rules to Pem. Pem sees no colour. Pem sees no creed. Use it. Don?t abuse it.
- Pem cannot be Supersized.
- Pem cannot be happy slapped.
- Pem is not available as a polyphonic ringtone.
- Pem is not available to download from iTunes for 79p.
- Pem is not available as a special edition two disc DVD set.
- Pem is not available on 0% finance.
- Pem does not believe the hype.
- Pem is not presented by Jimmy Carr.
- Pem does not predict a riot.
- Pem does not bet you look good on the dancefloor.
- Pem has not been evicted from the Big Brother house.
- Pem is not lovin? it.
- Pem does not think you?re bovvered.
- Pem was not filmed before a live studio audience.
- Pem was not sponsored by Wella Shockwaves.
- Pem has not been pimped.
- Pem is not part of a calorie controlled diet.
- Pem is not low in saturates, monounsaturates, polyunsaturates, omega 6 or trans fatty acids.
- Pem is not gangsta.
- Pem is not street.
- Pem is not gonna get rich or die trying.
- Pem is not dating the racist one out of Girls Aloud.
- Pem does not live in a very big house in the country.
- Pem has not been signed to Chelsea in a record breaking multi-million pound transfer deal from Inter Milan.
- Pem does not drop it like it?s hot.
- Pem is not the secret identity of The Banker from ?Deal or No Deal?.
- Pem is not microwaveable in 70 seconds.
- Pem is not coming to a cinema near you soon.
- Pem is all of the above.
commenting closed for this article
On Saturday April 8, 2006,
Paul Fuzz said:
Holy mother of Elvis, the guy who wrote this Pem thing is some sorta genius. Some sort of handsome genius.
On Saturday April 8, 2006,
Stu said:
He’s alright, I guess… Yeah I guess you could call him handso… wait a minute, Lowman, is that you? Bah, tricked again.